Journey To My Husband – Part Three

So, I’ve been saving up and repaying back the debts I owed to the cinema after my last date (read the posts here) and I finally felt like I could possibly, one day, afford to go on another date – just not with that guy. So, I just waited. I didn’t really do anything about it and trusted that when the world wanted me to date again, it would.

It took a while.

Then, out of nowhere, some guy I had met at a few parties previously came home from travelling. He had turned from “so/so” to “hello” (mostly because he had grown his hair) We flirted a bit via text and he wanted to take me out. This was it. I had hit jackpot, right? He had better hair than me, he was tall and could actually make me laugh (without having to do that really difficult fake laugh on dates that ends up making your face ache and giving you a headache) SO, we went for dinner and he took me to the ‘Slug & Lettuce’. I’ll admit that I wasn’t bowled over by the restaurant choice but I guess at least if I ended up paying it would still be cheaper than the sweets at the cinema, right? Plus, I had some lettuce leaves because if you didn’t know, Slug & Lettuce don’t really provide many gluten free options.

So, a few weeks in it was all great. He even texted me back all the time, bonus! I went to his friends parties and it all felt a little too good to be true. Then rolled around Valentines day. It was awkward because what do you do? Buy a gift for someone you’ve only really just started seeing? Avoid it? Just get a card? Things like this really bothered me and to be honest, avoiding it would have definitely been my first choice. Then whilst sitting at my desk at work – in an office full of men – a flower delivery guy rang the buzzer, holding possibly the biggest bunch of red roses I had ever seen. Instantly, we all assumed they were for the only other woman in the office as she actually had a boyfriend.. but no, the flower delivery guy shouted “These are for LAURA?!” and everyone stared at me, followed by some nice manly jibes. My face changed colour and matched the roses.

The card inside stated that I was being taken for a meal and an overnight stay.

Now, obviously it was all very appreciated but this was not for me. I like my space and I definitely didn’t know how to feel about an OVERNIGHT stay with someone that wasn’t officially my boyfriend (I know, call me a prude.. but hey, that’s just me) I like to choose when the overnight stay happens, I like to think about it rationally and I definitely didn’t like it being thrown at me as a ‘surprise’. So I packed my most unattractive PJ’s and faked a cold, no one wants to come near a snotty nose right?!

I didn’t get even an hour of sleep that night.

No, that’s not why, you dirty minx! OH MY GOD DID HE SNORE. It wasn’t like a snore I’d ever heard before, it was like a private jet was about to land on my head whilst being chased by a stomping giant through a loud city, mixed with the anger of not getting any sleep. I swear even the bed vibrated and shuddered at the sound, infact if there was an earthquake scare that night I would have definitely blamed it on him. It proved to me that even guys with really nice hair and a good sense of humour had their downsides. I really contemplated (mostly between the hours of 12am-7am) whether good hair and GSOH were worth the god damn noise. Conclusion? Probably not.

–

A few weeks later, we had plans to meet at the cinema. I was 15 minutes late.. why is it that the car park machine never works when you’re late and everyone walks like a snail? By the time I got to the Cinema, he was waiting outside with two drinks (well HEY I thought, at least I didn’t have to get in debt again!) but as I got closer and closer I noticed his face, kinda angry and disappointed rolled into one. The kind of face your parents give you when they realise you broke the coffee machine, when they realise you ate all the food in the fridge, when they find the hidden ornament from the party you weren’t meant to have.

Pure, anger.

So, I really apologised for being late, y’know even though we live in a modern world and I had pre-warned him via text, phone call and carrier pigeon… (maybe I should have tried that one?) He slowly looked up at me, the look reminded me of the joker from a Bat Man film except I could see he was more angry than mentally unstable. He opened his mouth and out came a very loud, well, shout.

“What are you playing at?! We’ve missed the trailers, I like the trailers!!!!”

The entire cinema foyer just stared at me like they were also waiting for an answer. I muttered ‘sorry?’ and again, my face turned a red rose shade. I did look around waiting for the hidden cameras to jump out and surprise me but safe to say, this was not a set up Jeremy Kyle spin off show. This guy had actually shouted at me because he missed a few poxy trailers. Inside I was mortified and I sat through the entire film wanting to punch him, luckily I’m not the aggressive type. We went for a drink after the film had finished and barely said 2 words to each other, it was the longest lemonade I have ever ordered. On the way home he texted me “Well, that wasn’t the best date we’ve had, was it?”

No, it bloody wasn’t.

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The Journey To My Husband Series

Part One – read here

Part Two – read here

Photography by Debs